Converse

It snowed all day yesterday. I think it’s the 3rd time it has snowed this year, which is a lot for around here. Hopefully we get more. The snow reminds me of Indiana.

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We moved to Indiana when I was 11. We went there to be with Don Gary’s family. We lived in a few different homes and towns while we were there but the one that sticks out the most was Converse Indiana. We lived in a trailer park in that small town. Looking back, it was a lot like the town I live in now. I met friends there close to my age. We lived by a racetrack where grandma would let me drive her car, and railroad tracks where we would strategically place pennies in hopes to derail trains, or at least come back to cool smushed coins. There were ponds close by to go fishing in, and during winter it snowed. Not like Texas or Tennessee, it really snowed. The snow drifts against buildings would get to 6 feet deep. We would dig tunnels and make igloos and imagine we were in Antarctica trying to escape the polar bears. It was magical. We only spent 1 winter there. A winter I’ll never forget.

I liked Indiana. I liked that trailer park. Mom ended up becoming the manager of that trailer park, so we got to move to the house at the entrance. It was a step up. Mom and Don Gary got married in that house and I started calling him dad. Brenda fell out of a tree at that house. And my brother Donny was born while we lived in that trailer park.

It’s amazing how much I can remember from such a small chunk of time in my life. Converse plays back in my mind like scenes out of the movie stand by me. A lot happened in Converse I have never told anyone. I may never tell anyone. I spend a lot of time in the past for some reason. I know it’s said we shouldn’t live in the past, but I don’t think I do it in a bad way.

2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

It’s more nostalgia than anything. I actually love spending time in the past. Remembering life as a child. Thinking about things that shaped who I am and how I deal with the world today. I often wonder if the memories I am making now will feel the same as the ones I made then. If I will look back on these days with the same cinematic scenes rolling through my head and the feeling of what was then comforting me.

I’ve found I often live life with this in mind. Knowing I will one day look back on this very moment, this day, this time in my life. The decisions I am making and the effect they are having. I find myself thinking ahead to me looking back, wondering what I will see and feel then. Will I regret? Will I wish I had done something different? Will I know then what I don’t know now and wish I had known? Or will I be thankful of the process and the wisdom I gained? Sounds crazy I know. But I think this is where God comes in. This is where I learn to look back and see where God was working. What He was doing, and if I was paying attention.

Well, that story took a bit of a turn!

I’m going to go play in the snow now.